When you are going through marriage, everybody wants to share their experience and They tell you the things that affect them on their marriages.And they try to put them on you.So there are certain things that we heard along the way, today we just wanted to dismiss all those myths.
1. Personality Problems Ruin Marriages.
We are come from different families, upbringing, cultural background, education etc. No one is perfect. Just because your partner's certain personality traits do not align with yours, it does not mean that they are defective. The key is to acknowledge and respect these differences. For example, given a scenario where a wife is kind of a control freak, and she likes to feel everything has to be under her control. Now, If she was married to a man who hates having the concept of a boss and being controlled, then their marriage would be chaotic. But instead, if we take the scenario where she is happily married to her husband and where he is open minded and accepts her influence. You can see, personality problems do not ruin marriage. If the couple can accommodate each other's "imperfection" with respect, marriage will thrive.
2. Common Interests Keep You Together.
We hear all the time about couples that have it good because they share common interests but they may not tell you the actual interaction while they are pursuing those interests. Let’s take the example of a couple that both love to cook together for themselves or to entertain guests on the weekends.
You would think that their common love for food would enrich and deepen their fondness for each other but have you considered what really would eventuate if the kitchen is turned into a stage of fighting and criticism? If the kitchen becomes a battle ground where the woman is screaming: “That’s not how you cut a tomato, how many times have I told you how they should be cut,” then this common interest is hardly benefiting their marriage.
3. Never Go To Bed Angry.
This is probably one of the most common piece of relationship advice that we have heard. The premise is to resolve any issues that you or your partner are feeling before you go to sleep, and not to leave any anger unresolved. However, research has found out that when couples fight, they are physiologically stressed, and feel flooded with a whole array of emotions. During this state, it is nearly impossible to think logically and therefore or couples to have rational discussion.
We actually find that taking a break when we are in the middle of a heated disagreement helps to give time for the emotions to subside and cool. When we step away from the heated feelings that we have, do something that we enjoy and come back to solve our problems later in this cooled down state, we will have our brains working again in a rational and calm manner. This may mean we may need to sleep on it.
4. Affairs are the Main Cause Of Divorce.
In a study from the Divorce Mediation Project, 80% of divorced men and women said growing apart and the loss of a real closeness and connection with their partner was the main reason for divorce. The interesting point to make is that only 20%-27% mentioned an extramarital affair was the cause of divorce.
Problems in the marriage that send the couple to divorce are aspects within the marriage or relationship and that looking for intimate connection outside of marriage is the result and not the cause for the divorce. Partners who have an affair are drawn to the sense of closeness through genuine loneliness and not just through some simple form of sexual attraction.
5. Men and Women are from Different Planets.
Based on the bestselling book, men and women cant get along because they are from different planets.However, research has found out otherwise Men and women are wanting the same stuff. Friendship romance, passion and sex.The differences between men and women may contribute to marital problems, but they are not vital.
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